17/09/2025

When I took up photography almost 10 years ago, I had no idea it would help me reconnect to the world. Creative expression has been very healing. So too has been breaking the wall of silence surrounding the intergenerational trauma which very much set the stage from the day I was born.

As my mother gave birth to me and during her convalescence my two brothers (5 years and 18 months) stayed in Salvation Army care and my sister with relatives. My oldest brother, who participated in the Abuse in Care Inquiry, came home with an eating disorder and my other brother came home mute and stayed that way for around a year.

Then when I was 11 months old my father received news that his father had just died in psychiatric care. This would have been a huge shock as my father grew up believing he was dead.

Despite coming into the world at a particularly bad time for my family, in many ways my childhood was charmed. I loved the free-range lifestyle and long days of reckless abandon I enjoyed with my siblings. That abruptly changed in my early teens after one of many traumas that I liken to the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Few people know that about me. How trauma has been at the forefront of most of my life. I guess because after each setback (and there’s been a few) I’ve managed to rebuild and keep going.

I can talk about important life events in order. For example, at 27 I represented New Zealand at the FIFA Women’s World Cup in China. In my thirties I earned university qualifications and gave birth to my son. But that’s not the story of my life which is difficult to tell in a linear way as it’s often felt messy, uncertain and just plain hard.

When my friend turned up with his camera one day, it was at least six months before I picked it up. I remember aimlessly wandering around my backyard in the bright sunlight and crouching to snap bees as they landed on the numerous dandelions. When I looked through the viewfinder I was awestruck by the beauty and detail that I couldn’t see with the naked eye.

From that moment I obsessively took photos to try and capture beauty. After a while I progressed to street photography, and then also found the courage to ask people about their lives. These positive exchanges felt like a mutual opening of the heart. Each time I’d walk away feeling a little more emboldened and connected to the courage and goodness in people.

It became increasingly clear that while I loved these exchanges, I really wanted to find a way to express my own story. When I finally started that project, it turned into an outpouring of grief. I think unprocessed trauma sees us increasingly shut down and healing is the process of opening up. Not just to beauty, but also to feelings, such as grief, sadness and anger.

I’ve also had professional help in doing this, as well as with healing the body. Trauma can have profound impacts on the nervous system, and I’ve had to put in years of work to calm it and restore my health.

For me, moments of connection and openness shared with people on my travels have been drips in my ever-increasing bucket of healing. And I believe we are at a time in history when stories that foster understanding, hope and courage are more important than ever.

My Story by Lynne Warring