Back in the 60’s I spent time in solitude in a place called the Walls of Jerusalem, in Northern Tasmania. I took a few supplies but mostly lived off the land. During the first week I got more and more irritable over the smallest of things. Like when I tipped my billy with rice over and lost my temper. I thought jesh, if I’m like that now what and I going to be like in the future. I started to feel excited as I was learning about myself. Taking that attitude made things a lot easier and my issues were resolved. That had a profound effect on me. When I came out after a month I had a direction in life. It was an internal thing – striving towards self perfection. When you change, the external world changes as a natural consequence.
A couple of months before going into solitude I went on a rafting trip with some mates down the Franklin river in Tasmania. I had ten days off work to do it in. We were nine days overdue because the conditions were so extreme. People thought we were dead. Reflecting on this later, it blew me away that even though the rafting trip was dangerous and epic it didn’t have the profound effect on me that my time in solitude did when there was no danger.
So when I came to New Zealand in 1972 I went to a remote hut on the West Coast to spend more time alone. Mid way through my six month stay four guys who were studying the glacier joined me for a few days. The rest of the time I was alone. When I came out, I realised how much I did things to other people’s expectations. After that nobody could tell me what to do.
I started juggling when I was 40 and had split up from a relationship and was going through a difficult time. I’m now 80, so that’s 40 years. People think I do it to entertain them, but I started doing it to find balance.